And in the begining there was...

I was staring at yet another bottle cap with "thanks for playing please try again", I had been furiously trying to win that cash prize all summer long. It dawned on me, this would make a great epitaph for my tombstone. Right? It is so existential. Maybe next time...I'll get the big house, perky tits, hunky husband and the perfect life. Is time running out for this life? I am only 35.

My reality is that I am the kind of person who get day after day, dusts off the failure and tries again. I keep cashing rainbows, right off the cliff. I am a divorced single mom who was laid off during the holidays this year. I had finally paid off $20,000 of ex-husbands dept and started IRAs for retirement. They are officially worth less than the stamps used to update me of their dwindling accounts. I was saving for a house and taking painfully dull first time homeowner classes. them boom, here I am picking myself up again.

For some reason it feels like a blessing, because I love to twist the cap off and think for only a moment that I might just be a winner this time.